we are heroes

this phrase actually didn't struck me, nor made sense to me until we started campaigning for the SSG...and what appealed to me most is that, whenever I think about this, i don't feel childish, but i feel as if i am a warrior fighting a some kind of battle...

i have gone far in my life and in my service ever since i went here in UAE. i've gone to places others have dreamt of going. i have done things that others have wanted to be doing, ive won things that others would want to have, ive gotten responsibilities that other could've done better. as if i was winning this battle, this war that somehow leads to nowhere but back to where i came from...

a child, wondering for purpose...

being a leader in the community that i belong to and love, gives me that image boost for other people to think that i am strong. being their leader for almost 4 years, and being present in those activities, gives them the sense that i've done things because i am strong, i've done things because i can do them, i've done things because i am perfect in a sense that i am very devoted to God and at the same time, in maintaining my integrity as a leader. oh how wrong they are...

i should be doing my note taking and my assignments right now, i should be planning more for our ssg this night, i should've been studying for our 3 quizzes for tommorow, but why can't i? why can't i do what i was doing before? those things that i liked, those things that i sacrificed for? why is it that even though i am winning the war, i am losing the battles within me?

i am not emo, nor confused about who i am, and what i should do. but i am doubting if i am really living up to the purpose that was set before me. my one recent realization while praying at church, walking with my knees is this...

you can never have lived your life to the fullest if you haven't lived up to the purpose that you were created

living a life that is full of happiness and joy is not the norm here, usually the fullness of our lives are shown to us in our darkness times, and our times of despaiar and hopelesness, because by this challenges we are changed, by this things we see our purpose

gary valenciano's-warrior is a child song reaffirms me that i am one of those winners, i am one of those warriors, those heroes that gets honors, praises and responsibilities others have dreamt of having. but as i am an apparent winner of the war, i have a lot of battles that i have faced and lost. i get hurt, wounded, and humiliated. i've got more lost battles than those with whom i one. ive fallen, ive sinned, ive been lazy, lukewarm, lastful, vengeful, grudgeful, envious, jealous, coward, slanderous, stealer, liar, double faced, deceiver, and etc. these every day battles that ive lost, that others don't seem to see, and don't seem to care...

that when i actually win one of them, no one would care to appreciate but me, then begins that longing to be loved, that longing to win the war, this war of life. a hero always have his weakness, a warrior always has their counter parts. i as david have my own. but the reason that many don't see this its because they see life as black and white...when you're bad, you are bad, when you're holy you're holy...when you're middle, you're middle. they don't see the point that you are who you are based on your decision, based on your life, your purpose for that day that you have lived. that's why many pretend, many hide their fears, their weaknesses so that they could be seen as strong warriors...

but, we who are gradually sharing to the world how weak we are, and how fallen we've become is both a cry for help and an affirmation, that even the greatest of men fall, even the people who you see succeeds in life, also fails in their battles, thus urging you to become better, because that is what we heroes do. we fight battles, win or lose...as long as we would finish the war...

i am a warrior, an imperfect one yes, a one who is wounded, and hurt. one who makes mistakes, and hurts others. but i am a warrior

i am a true hero because i don't deny who i am
i am a true person because i admit my weaknesses
i am a true christian because i try to live according to the purpose set before my by christ


i may not win all battles in my life...but i am still a child, its bound to happen

i've got less than 6 years till graduating from college
i've got less than 15 years till having a wife
i've got less than 70-80 years till growing old and die

there's a lot of battles that you could win, or lose...

but its the journey, and the war that counts

that if you live it according to your purpose...

even if you lose all the battles, and win in one...


you'll look back from your deathbed...

thinking...

this is a battle i've won...a battle that determined my purpose



god bless

-dabs