warrior is a child

we are heroes


this phrase actually didn't struck me, nor made sense to me until we started campaigning for the SSG...and what appealed to me most is that, whenever I think about this, i don't feel childish, but i feel as if i am a warrior fighting a some kind of battle...

i have gone far in my life and in my service ever since i went here in UAE. i've gone to places others have dreamt of going. i have done things that others have wanted to be doing, ive won things that others would want to have, ive gotten responsibilities that other could've done better. as if i was winning this battle, this war that somehow leads to nowhere but back to where i came from...

a child, wondering for purpose...

being a leader in the community that i belong to and love, gives me that image boost for other people to think that i am strong. being their leader for almost 4 years, and being present in those activities, gives them the sense that i've done things because i am strong, i've done things because i can do them, i've done things because i am perfect in a sense that i am very devoted to God and at the same time, in maintaining my integrity as a leader. oh how wrong they are...

i should be doing my note taking and my assignments right now, i should be planning more for our ssg this night, i should've been studying for our 3 quizzes for tommorow, but why can't i? why can't i do what i was doing before? those things that i liked, those things that i sacrificed for? why is it that even though i am winning the war, i am losing the battles within me?

i am not emo, nor confused about who i am, and what i should do. but i am doubting if i am really living up to the purpose that was set before me. my one recent realization while praying at church, walking with my knees is this...

you can never have lived your life to the fullest if you haven't lived up to the purpose that you were created

living a life that is full of happiness and joy is not the norm here, usually the fullness of our lives are shown to us in our darkness times, and our times of despaiar and hopelesness, because by this challenges we are changed, by this things we see our purpose

gary valenciano's-warrior is a child song reaffirms me that i am one of those winners, i am one of those warriors, those heroes that gets honors, praises and responsibilities others have dreamt of having. but as i am an apparent winner of the war, i have a lot of battles that i have faced and lost. i get hurt, wounded, and humiliated. i've got more lost battles than those with whom i one. ive fallen, ive sinned, ive been lazy, lukewarm, lastful, vengeful, grudgeful, envious, jealous, coward, slanderous, stealer, liar, double faced, deceiver, and etc. these every day battles that ive lost, that others don't seem to see, and don't seem to care...

that when i actually win one of them, no one would care to appreciate but me, then begins that longing to be loved, that longing to win the war, this war of life. a hero always have his weakness, a warrior always has their counter parts. i as david have my own. but the reason that many don't see this its because they see life as black and white...when you're bad, you are bad, when you're holy you're holy...when you're middle, you're middle. they don't see the point that you are who you are based on your decision, based on your life, your purpose for that day that you have lived. that's why many pretend, many hide their fears, their weaknesses so that they could be seen as strong warriors...

but, we who are gradually sharing to the world how weak we are, and how fallen we've become is both a cry for help and an affirmation, that even the greatest of men fall, even the people who you see succeeds in life, also fails in their battles, thus urging you to become better, because that is what we heroes do. we fight battles, win or lose...as long as we would finish the war...

i am a warrior, an imperfect one yes, a one who is wounded, and hurt. one who makes mistakes, and hurts others. but i am a warrior

i am a true hero because i don't deny who i am
i am a true person because i admit my weaknesses
i am a true christian because i try to live according to the purpose set before my by christ


i may not win all battles in my life...but i am still a child, its bound to happen

i've got less than 6 years till graduating from college
i've got less than 15 years till having a wife
i've got less than 70-80 years till growing old and die

there's a lot of battles that you could win, or lose...

but its the journey, and the war that counts

that if you live it according to your purpose...

even if you lose all the battles, and win in one...


you'll look back from your deathbed...

thinking...

this is a battle i've won...a battle that determined my purpose



god bless

-dabs

p.s. i'll be notetaking on the weekends, ill let this quizzes pass before me, kahit bumagsak, 3 lng nman eh
ps2 pray for our nc :) ung ibang ndi pa registered register na!

a story...

One day, a young guy was walking on a dark street. Suddenly, out of an Acacia tree, an old man wrapped in a black robe appeared. His eyes were fierce, his face pale, his beard unkempt. He pushed a black book towards the young man and ordered, “You need to read this book! Buy it for P700.”
The young man was shocked and mumbled, “I don’t have P700…”
But the elderly man spoke with a louder voice, “You need to read this book! Give me P700.” So with shaking hands, the lad fumbled with his wallet and handed P700 to him. The mysterious man placed the black book in the chap’s hand and said, “Whatever you do, never look at the last page. Or you will regret it.” He then walked towards the field behind them and suddenly disappeared!
The young man went home, shaken to the core. In the evening, he started reading the book. It was all about ghosts and werewolves and vampires! After awhile, he grew tired, closed the book and went to bed.
But he couldn’t sleep. Tossing and turning, the young man could only think of one thing: What was on the last page of the book? What will I regret seeing there?
Finally, he couldn’t take the suspense any longer. With every ounce of courage he could muster, he grabbed the black book. With trembling fingers, he opened it to the last page…
And when he saw it, at once, waves of regret filled him!
The last page was empty.
Except for a small note that said, “P49.50, National Bookstore.”


---------------------------
many people are like this...they're so stupid to trust people who cant be trusted...they are weak that they let people push them around...they're like me...haiizzz..

vent...

am human...sue me...

ang sarap mag vent ng feelings, lalo na sa blog...well for me that was before, now i just don't find any pleasure in blogging, but i blog because i blog

well, you may be or not be expecting me to write bad words here..."yes i still call them bad words" but as most of you guessed, no...i'll not write any of those things in here

as much as i want to...ughhh, it just makes me sick, so i hide these words inside of me...and yet, here again...more anger...vexed up, filled up, slowly eating my insides...

what angers/irritates me the most

1) feelers- mayayabang na kala mo astig na sila...pero ndi nman...nakikisama sa mga mangaasar, as if kaya nila mangasar, pero sa totoo sip sip na mga g.... ARGHH!! sarap mag mura!
2) effers- i want to call them this because, they are effers, why...they do their time, have fun, forget time, forget work...tpos bawi na lng..and they get what they want...then at the end of the day magmumok mok sila sa korner...mga walang pake sa future, na nagkukunwaring, as if, kakayanin nilang magsurvive sa college...one word for you guys..F...
3) leechers- people na sip sip akala mo, kaibigan, at katulong...pero pag nndyan na ung ibang ksama, iiwanan ka na..."panakib butas" in short.
4) playboys- akala mo kaibigan paghahabol, or friendship, or etc. pero sa totoo chancing lng habol, katawan lng ng mga babae...i don't necesarrily mean all boys...pero karamihan gan2 nakikita q eh...and ughhh it makes me sick...mga ibang babae naman ang lalandi, as if...aun payag lng...
5)yfc-yfchan- ayan...pinaka nakaksuka...(sorry vent nga dba) nakakainis, nakaksuklam suklam, nakaka arghhh, t*****. minsan ginagamit ung pagkayfc nila para..ughh...palusot pa ng palusot, pag nasisita, as if my lusot...seryoso lng pag nndun sa activities...
6).........

parang...wala aqng kasama ngaun..walang kasangga, walang kakampi, ka suporta...walang..ay nvm...

yoko na muna magsalita, at ang sarap talaga magmura...baka may masabi aqng ndi maganda..

ge na guys

gbu...

p.s.

gb me sana... :-<

ahhh, ooohh, yeahhhh :)

resting is nice, resting is good

i haven't blogged here for 2 days, why?

because when i go home from school, i lay at my bed and sleep for 9-10 hours...at first i regretted it because i kept getting up late, and sleeping late, and being sleepy at school. i wasn't able to finish and complete my lessons, because yeap i feel crappy...

but later on i just felt calmness and peace, i felt so good that i appreciated the time off the world has given to me...no school, no family, no yfc yfc, no work, no service or etc...its just God and me, resting together, assuring me that he would give my the proper time of rest, if i would learn how to discipline myself and rest when needed. we are human beings, and all of us get tired, not just from our work, but also i our lives. others simply just give up, that's not resting, thats fighting and not surrendering...others would just go on with their lives, and would work until death makes them crazy...

all of us needs to know how to take a break once in a while. a time for calmness, peace and serenity. not necesarily a time for prayer. but a time for reflection, a recollection of our lives...and by these things we would learn and see the blessings that have come and go, and we would learn to appreciate the upcoming ones more...

short steps, baby steps into praying, is learning how to find the calmness in your soul, the beauty and peace in your heart. and how could u do that if you have no time to rest?
so sit back, relax and allot time for you and your whole body to rest so that you may enjoy life to the fullest



in resting you shall find the strength to move on into the journey of life :)



-dabs

why is it?

music: i can't stop falling in love with you

mood: nilalamiggggggggggggggggggggggg

why is it hard for people to wait?

earlier this morning we had our activity, as blind people. we learned how to trust, to be afraid of the dark, and to surrender ourselves to our guides. other than the learnings that I have that I would put in my prayer journal, one of the things i realized is...

its hard to wait...especially if you want to move on with your life...

while blindfolded, i felt as if time was very slow, and my guide "jephong" is guiding me, and yet i feel that everything around me is slow. i hated not knowing where to go, i hated not knowing whats next, i hated waiting for instructions...i hated to wait...

and just to think about it, pretty much everyone is impatient especially when it comes to romantic relationships...

when they feel crushes, they consider it as love

when they feel love, they consider it as if there is no tommorow

when they consider as if there is no tommorow, they forget about tommorow (duh)

they start dreaming while they are still in an incapable age of staying together forever resulting into broken promises and torn relationships...

i've realized...the people who waited the most, would be the ones that would be rewarded the most...because they served their time, its their turn to move forward...

never forget, you could not move forward, if you would not learn on how to be patient

-dabs

p.s. sadik held my hand while i was blindfolded, and it felt...

weird...

sleeping all the way

random thought: what if we had wings

mood: procastinating...is bad

we just had our filipino classes today, so yeah it was kinda ok because we have a new teacher...I hope we could understand the language of this new one.

maam discussed about birds, yeah so its about this flying guys who just fly around, eat, sleep and do their own way. kinda like us, but there was this one particular bird that caught my attention

it was the albatross (and no its not the one in the toilet) i am talking about the bird that usually flies around the ocean. it kinda looks like this:

one thing about them, is that they could sleep while flying. what in the world are they thinking?!?!?! i mean aren't they afraid they would be led somewhere dangerous. and even worse, they'll just let the wind carry them over, not minding what happens next, just letting it carry them...

aren't they afraid they won't reach their destination? their destiny?

well after thinking about those things and talking about myself inside my mind, and looking crazy because i was staring at the wall for 5-6 minutes. a thought just hit inside my head...

what if people would just let fate carry them to their destinies? better yet, why do people fight the problems, and just let the problems solve themselves, by just letting the "wind" carry them to the right direction?

what if people would be like the albatross who'll just rest and let destiny carry them? sure they might not like where they'll end up, but in the end they rested on that strenous journey and arrived there. because its there destiny...it's just the thought that surrendering that kills many people's common sense, for them to surrender is for losers, to surrender is to give up...but many armies surrendered, took a step back so that they could take 2 more steps forward...

if and only if we learn how to let God carry us to our destinations, to the solutions of our problems, and just sleep while flying...then we could learn how to treasure the simple and yet fulfilling blessings in life!

so why not try as the albatross does...sleep while you fly :)

p.s.

of course there's another meaning of this flying/sleeping albatross stuff, but it contains a negative message, i thought i better post more about the positive one (--)

my new blog

so yeah you guys probably have seen my solidyfc blog on multiply, my solidyfc blog on blogspot and etc. and its been ages ever since I've updated them. well this is my last try, and would be my hopefully official blog that i could look back unto when i grow old :)

ill be updating this but not regularly like in live journal...
http://dabsq.livejournal.com

my short thoughts and etc, would be there, while my whereabouts would be listed on my twitter
http://www.twitter.com/dabsq

kalat sa internet n0h? well ive been using my friend mr. internet (i prefer him to be a boy don't ask why) for almost 5 years now, so you could probably see me around...

ill not bother to cancel my friendster, multiply, plurk, facebook, and aq accounts, because maybe, and just maybe i might use them someday!

so holla! bye! gbu!


p.s. no to gayhood!